Clear the mind
I am not me
Where do you go when you want to escape everything? I usually deal with things head on, but it has become much more than I can bare lately. At every turn, I have family giving me advice and telling me what I should be doing. At work, it's constant yip-yap about the recent "big acquisition" and who might get let go. At home, it's just a lot of yelling, fighting, and dysfunctionalization (is that a word?). I've been grinding my teeth so much that I have a constant jaw ache. I can't sleep at night, and when I do manage to doze off, I have awful images of things that don't scare me anymore.
My brother has taken it upon himself to begin "discipling my boys" because he thinks "jb will never do it and I haven't stepped up to do it yet". Since when is it okay to tell someone else how to raise their kids (or do it for them)? My dad is the same way, he's very vocal about what he thinks is wrong and how it should be corrected. My mom thinks I should come home every day and relax with a glass of wine or liquor. Glad everyone has it all figured out for me. Nobody is listening....they are too busy talking. My boys never want to visit my parent's house and I'm beginning to feel the same way.
Maybe I am just avoiding the obvious. But it does seem that what I think doesn't matter anymore. What I do is apparently not the right thing. So..where do I go when I need to get away from it all? Last night I found myself wandering through Walmart with my headphones plugged into my blackjack, listening to Tool and trying to find things to look at to keep from going home ... or back to my parents house.
So I'm not everything you wanted me to be
Sorry I ever dissapointed
I am not me
LoPro's "Not Me"
~peace~